Thursday, 5 June 2008

Hi! I'm Me.

(picture circa 1985 or so) I'm generally an insecure person. I'm shy, and I don't like anyone to think badly of me. But I have a tendency to criticize myself. For all my unmarried life, and the first 4 years of my marriage, I tried to make myself into something I'm not. I felt left out when KD and his brothers and their women would make jokes insulting each other, because I was never clever enough. I tried to be a good cook and housekeeper, I tried to be funny, I tried to be modern, I tried to be fashionable, I tried to be sarcastic. But none of it was me. None of it worked, because I was just lying to myself. But for the past couple of years I have begun learning who I really am, and accepting myself.
  • I am not a very good cook.
  • I am a procrastinator. And somewhat lazy. But simple is good, right?
  • I am not funny. I can't make a joke to save my life. (Which is one reason why I read Candid Carrie! She's hilarious!)
  • I am really old fashioned.
  • I am a better housekeeper than my mother, but still not that great. Which is ok.
  • I never was a teenager.
  • I have an obsessive personality. This is getting better since JK was born.
  • I am emotional.
  • I don't like to be sarcastic. I'd rather be nice.
  • I don't look good in the latest fashions. I'd rather wear classic feminine styles.
  • I'm a bit of a show-off (as is apparent in this blog!)
I'm sure there's more that I just can't think of right now, but you get the idea. I'm learning to like me. And it's nice!

10 comments:

  1. Good for you! Life is so much better when you're comfortable in your own skin. When you stop trying to be something you're.

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  2. You were a cutie in 1985!! I'm afraid I had a punk rock haircut and wore too much eyeliner in 1985. :o/

    I can totally relate to your post today. TOTALLY.

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  3. Oh my gosh, how sweet are you.

    This post is so genuine, it gave me goosebumps. You motivate me to be more creative, while we are doing our re-decorating project I keep thinking, what would Pretty do? That's what I call you In My Head, Pretty.

    In fact, in today's post I was so ashamed of the picture of my husband's nightstand that I thought, Oh No. Pretty is gonna $h*t a brick when she sees this!

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  4. I graduated in 1987. I'm feeling very old right now. LOL!!!

    You are still growing into your own skin in your 20's. You're doing amazingly well! Imagine how much further along you'll be in 10 years. Amazing!

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  5. You are light years ahead of where I was at your age. Yes, I'm that much older. I think liking yourself is one of the hardest things to master in life. You're doing a great job!!

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  6. I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!! What a wonderful thing to write about! I have to tell you though I sat here reading this and I felt like I was reading my own words! It is a long and difficult journey to learn who you are and accept it- isn't it? I am going through the same thing. I think once I started having kids the real "me" started to show and has been developing since then. I started putting less energy into me and more into them! My aunt told me not long ago that it took her well into her fourties to feel comfortable in her own skin! So maybe we are doing good at our age?!?!? :)
    Thank You for this wonderful, honest post.
    -Heather :)

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  7. two words,
    you rule!!!!!!!!!!!

    i love this, you're so genuine and its so beautiful to read.

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  8. Well, we definitely have a few things in common! Procrastination, show-offy, etc. I found you through the Blissfully Domestic Ning site.

    Angie

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  9. Hi Jo :)

    Sweetie you are exactly like I was at your age. It gets better and you will find your voice and get comfortable in your own skin. I promise, that it will happen soon. Most likely around the time that someone hurts your daughter's feelings at school. Mother bear has a way of making you find your voice quick ;)

    Enjoy 'now' and try not to worry about what other people think. I wasted years thinking about it and I missed out on a lot of great stuff.

    Oh and by the way, in 1985 I turned 16. LOL

    hugs,
    rue

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