Thursday, 9 April 2009

Perfect Family

We had our 20-week ultrasound on Wednesday. Oh, it was so sweet to see the baby's face and hands and feet and heart and spine and...ahem, well...IT'S A BOY! And it looks like he'll be a hockey fan like JK already is.

I have been referring to the baby as "he" for the entire pregnancy, and teaching JK to say "baby brother". But I can't say that I knew his gender like I did with JK. It was more just having fun thinking of something different. That said, there were several old-wives-tales that slowly started to convince me that we were having a boy this time. For one thing, I'm still getting sick occasionally and I'm still having migranes. With JK, both symptoms stopped more than a month earlier in the pregnancy. For another, this baby's heart rate is faster than JK's was. 150-160 bpm. JK's was 140.

Anyway, since telling friends and family, there has been a comment that bothers me. Since we will have a girl and a boy, a couple of people have said "Now you'll have a perfect family!" While I know both people only wish us the best and are thrilled for us, I can't help but be annoyed. Was our one-child family imperfect before? Would having two girls make our family imperfect? I am not the type of person to stress about wanting a particular gender, though I do understand those who do have that desire. I am quite certain that I would have been just as happy with all boys or all girls.

Each type of family has wonderful blessings, and to me, each type is perfect. My perfect family just happens to have one girl and one boy so far.

PS: If the people who made the comment read this, don't feel bad. I really did take your comments in the kind and loving spirit they were meant! My annoyance is not directed at you or your comments, but rather at society's view of "perfection". You know, the mom-dad-boy-girl model. Love you!


  1. Congratulations!! This is SOOO exciting!!

    I know exactly what you mean by the "perfect family" comment though!! We had several people tell us that when it was just Kyle and Bella.

    We did have one rude person (unlike your probably well-meaning folks) who actually said to me after Cali was born "You already had the perfect family- why did you have another baby and throw off the balance?" I was offended and hurt and let them know it. I was not very nice but felt that was an awful thing to say to someone! I think my family is perfect no matter what the combination is. Afterall- isn't a family "perfection" in itself? We are blessed to have children-such gifts-no matter what their gender.

    What a great ultrasound picture! It is so clear. Yeah!!!!
    Are you feeling any relief from the sickness?


  2. I have a boy and a girl and I cannot tell you how many times I have been told I have a "millionaire's family". I had not even heard that term until I had my second.

  3. The perfect family is one who loves and cares for each other perfectly. It doesn't stop at mom dad and the kids, but extends to the WHOLE family. Especially aunties!! ;)

  4. I agree with you about the comments about "perfect" family. :) And that's funny you noticed the "signs" of having a boy. All of our girls had varying heartrates (from low to high, depending on the week) so that wouldn't have predicted anything! :) Thanks for linking up to the Write Mama blog hop.

  5. Oh I so remember those comments - we had a boy, then a girl. I got pregnant again and people said why? I said, because. And we had another gift- a girl. Now we have 6 grandchildren - 4 boys and 2 girls. Love them all.
    Janis Cox


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