Friday, 15 November 2013

I Need a Haven

In spite of the fact that every morning the first thought on my mind when I wake up is an excited, "Christmas!", I haven't been my usual cheerful pre-holiday self.  I seem to have two halves lately.  I can be excited over fresh-fallen snow, and the lights of our Christmas tree (yes, it's up already.  Husband's idea, not mine), and the warmth of a cup of tea in my cold hands, but at the same time I have this underlying crankiness that colours my whole day.

On Tuesday, I did many things that I enjoyed: moms group, chatting with a friend, visiting my mom for her birthday, shopping with a very well-behaved 4-year-old...  Yet at the end of the day, I still felt flustered and unfulfilled and nearly burned supper.  At the time I attributed it to not having any alone/relaxing time that day, but I've had other days spent entirely alone that leave me feeling just as rough.

Our bedroom makeover is pretty much finished.  At least as finished as it is going to get (I want a real bed).  And I don't love it.  I like it just fine, and it's miles better than it was.  I absolutely love the wall colour.  But it doesn't feel like a haven.  And I think that's one of the things I so desperately need right now (that, and 20 fewer lbs so I can stop feeling so physically blah too).

Do you have a haven in our house?  In our townhouse, my haven was the living room.  It had an ugly fireplace (but a gorgeous mantel), worn carpet, ugly mini-blinds, only one not very pretty couch, and my massive, broken, antique piano.  But I loved it.  The couch was comfortable, the windows looked out to our tiny shady private back yard, and it was separate from the rest of the house.

My haven in our townhouse.  I have yet to figure out how to create one in this house.


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