Friday, 28 March 2014

S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D

Well, my camera is collecting dust, and my house is a disaster, and my basement is full of all my mom's stuff, and my exercise schedule is sporadic, and my work is way behind schedule, and my migraines are daily, and the ground is covered in fresh snow, and I just need a rest.

How's that for an explanation for not posting much lately?

On the flip side, my husband is sweet and understanding, my friends are there for me, my mom is now getting the medical care she needs in long term care, my kids are mostly well behaved, my daughter is suddenly a bookworm (yay!), and my son wrote his own name for the first time ever yesterday!  Yes, I know he's four-and-a-half, but he has never liked to sit and colour or draw or write.  I know he knows more than he's willing to show.

So that is life.  I absolutely hate being busy and I hate having so many things hanging over my head that need to be done.  But it is only a season.  Before this all started (when my mom went into the hospital), I was more together than I usually am.  I was cooking creatively, my house was clean-ish and being decluttered, and I was set to begin my next work contract.  Then life happened.  My mom went into the hospital for yet another fractured vertebrae, and was put on the waiting list to move into long term care, since her current residence wasn't able to provide the nursing and everyday care she needed.  So suddenly, I needed to clean out her old place within 72 hours...by myself, since all my siblings were out of town at that time.  Luckily my brother came back just in time to move the furniture with his truck.  I would not have been able to handle that!  The stuff was moved into my kitchen (and it was a lot of stuff for one very small studio suite), and the furniture moved into my sister's basement.  Since I hadn't yet quite completed my laundry room decluttering, I had nowhere to put the stuff!  So it sat in my kitchen for about two weeks, while I worked on getting Mom settled.  I finally moved the last of it to the basement (and now my laundry room is stuffed to the gills...so much for using my new desk any time soon).

But of course, as hard as this month has been, I do it gladly.  Mom has done so much for me over the years, which is probably a big part of her current health issues, so how can I begrudge doing this for her?  She has already lost so much.  Anyone would likely do the same for a beloved mother.  I had a dream the other night that she was suddenly able to walk and run and jump again (not that I've ever seen her jump in my life).  It was rather heartbreaking to wake up and realise it was only a dream.

Just a memo to the universe: Please, no more crises until I figure out how to get a handle on everyday life!  Or at least until I meet my May 30th deadline.

2 comments:

  1. I totally hear you on busyness and stress. It often seems like when things happen they happen all at once!

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  2. I totally hear you on busyness and stress. It often seems like when things happen they happen all at once!

    ReplyDelete