November 15, 2002 It’s funny, the way I thought I would be living away from Mom. I was sure I would be a TV junkie, and eat too much, get fat, etc. But really, I only eat at meal times, except when Kevin is snacking with me, and I only watch TV when he turns it on. I may watch a little at other times, but I’m not obsessed with it like I had feared.
I’m actually quite happy with my life. I have a wonderful husband, who tries to do what makes me happy, or even just more comfortable, even if it does not come naturally. I have a sweet little apartment that feels like home. Though I long for a house, I’ve really got quite enough to handle right now as I learn to keep house.
Learning to keep house. That is hard! I go to work, then come home and don’t feel like making supper, much less tidying the linen closet or sweeping the floor. I am trying to get on a schedule, but I haven’t the energy, because I know that if I make a schedule, I will constantly feel guilty for not following it or getting behind. There are really few things that need to be done, but I feel like I have to do them all by myself. It’s not like Kevin refuses to help, he just really doesn’t know what is required. I don’t think he knew that bathrooms need to be polished occasionally. When we got married, the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned since he moved in and I did it. True, it was only a month, but still.
You would think that after 12 years I'd have figured out the whole housekeeping thing. But then I have tripled my square footage (more if you count the basement) and doubled my family size since then. I still struggle with asking for help, from either Kevin or the kids. Although both kids are getting really good at washing dishes.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who is still battling the same things for the past decade!